Ana's last thought

I lie now in my cement bed
bricks draw up my spine
I can only think of how you've never brought me flowers
of how I used to change my shadow
to match your body size
of how I used to play forgiving
while you were denying all my sins.
I'm no pure sacrifice, my darling
tomorrow you will be surprised
when you rise from the mighty dust
and your bones won't hurt,
you'll see a beautiful sun dissolving a young girl's common thoughts
and you'll forget the last brick
you've seeded on my shoulder.
by the time our pagan Christmas will come
I'll be a stone, too
and my shade of black will frozen
into a last dream, into a last thought
of shamelessly missing you.